…but tonight, I miss you. I miss your laugh, that mischievous glint in your eyes, the way you feel in my arms, the softness of your lips against mine. To myself, at least, I can admit that I’ve never gotten over you. I belong to you, and to you alone. As I fall asleep, I hope that I don’t dream, because every dream I have is filled with you. I can see you again, hear your voice, feel your heartbeat against mine. I can taste the “I love you” leaving your lips. Waking up every morning is torture; I have to leave the only place where you are mine again. So, tonight, either let me have a dreamless slumber, or just don’t let me wake up. Whichever it is, just let me have you next to me, one last time. Please?
Ya know, the more I have to deal with everyday life and everything that it entails, the more I really start to hate people. How can our culture value stupidity as much as it does? I mean, really now? But, in the wise words of Young The Giant, “Life’s too short to even care at all”. Imma do my own thing, and screw everyone else. Carpe Noctem
D’ya ever have those days where you feel like dandelion fluff? Like you’re barely being held in place, the faintest wind carrying you away? I keep expecting to wake up from the dream of this monotony that is my routine every day life, waiting to fall down Alice’s Rabbit Hole and be amazed at Wonderland. I don’t wake up. Sometimes I wish that I could jump into old picture frames, and remember how it felt NOT to have to force a smile. Just. Keep. Breathing. One day at a time, one forced smile at a time. It pretty much sucks not only having to lie to everyone that I care about, but to myself as well: I’m very much unhappy with my current place in life. Maybe there is some satisfaction to be had from being where God wants me to be, even if I’m miserable? That’s if God even wants me here. Letting go. Dreaming. Those are the viable options for me. Maybe tomorrow will hold something better than today.